I HAVE A HEADACHE, SO LET'S BLOG

In random order:

1. I have a close relative that is MIA in a foreign country. He got sick, went to the doc, and they said he couldn't fly so his coworkers left him behind. Sick. In a foreign country. That qualifies as a bad employer I think. Last we heard he was supposed to be on a plane yesterday, but no one has heard from him in almost 2 days. He should be home now, but he's not. He's not at his hotel. We have no idea where he is or how he's doing. I hope he's okay. Good thoughts would be appreciated. I like this relative. :(

2.The babeola is cranky again. But we've graduated from headbanging to screeching. I'm not sure which I dislike more.

3. I do have a headache. A sleep deprivation one. I should be working (always with the work, I know!) but I'm just too pooped.  I'm going to go to bed early.

4. I got a book light for my bday. Anymore the only time I take to slow down and read a book is when we take roadtrips. I power up the DVD player for the babeola and read. I love it, but needed a better booklight. Which I now have. Because my husband loves me : ).

5. I made $18 so far in June on eHow. That's an increase of $5 over last month. I'm not getting rich, but I am making money so I am going to continue. I have 44 articles and would like to get to 100. Then 200 etc...

6.I am working on more niche blogs. I'm learning the hard way, making all sorts of mistakes, but hopefully this will pan out.

7. The babeola has been trying to read. She doesn't know her letters, but she realizes they are readable. So she tries to read. I am amazed by this, although I was an early and precocious reader so I guess I should not be shocked.

8. I overheard her singing the ABC song to herself in her crib. Super cute!

9. I have managed to make dental floss forbidden fruit and irresistible. The babeola watches me floss all the time and wants to imitate me. Whenever the baby gate is open, she sprints to the bathroom, opens the drawer and pulls out a mile of floss. Then she runs to her mirror and gnaws on the floss while watching herself with delight. So at least I have done one thing right as a mother; made dental hygiene cool.

Okay, I am going to bed. Tomorrow is another day, yes?

IF I DIE, WE WOULD SUE

Meh. I should be working. But the babeola hasn't slept in about a week, meaning I haven't slept either. I am tired! I should also be calling Kasier and raising hell.

Because this shit where a doctor tells me I could have a heart problem or multiple pulmonary emboli and then turns me lose with a 'see you in a few months'? Is so not flying.

Do I think I have a heart problem or pulmonary embolus? No.

But it's irresponsible, if not negligent, for a physician to say that to a patient and then not coordinate any follow up care.

I was thinking I would just suck it up and keep trying to work with this nutjob, but it's unproductive and the doctor has lost all credibility with the latest round of shenanigans. And I think, at this point, Kaiser needs to know what has been going on. As well as our employer's benefits department and anyone else I can find.

Unforunately, the complaint letter I've written is 3 pages long and I keep trying to cut it down, but can't. I suspect because there really are that many problems with the care I've received from Kaiser Permanente.

In other news, yeah no sleep around here. I'm really dragging and today's my birthday. Forget cake or presents, I just want to go to bed.

FEDERAL TRADE COMMISSION TO REGULATE BLOGS

A quickie to give you breaking news on major changes in the way we blog...

This is going to be getting a lot of buzz in the blog-o-sphere. Especially for mommy bloggers who make a living off their blogs.

On the one hand, if all the FTC is going to require is disclosure, that's fine, but if they start policing things beyond that, it will be a problem.

For the record, I don't have any affiliate links on this blog and I receive no compensation for anything I post here.

RELIEF, WORMS, MONTESSORI

How does this mom spell RELIEF?

After calling the dog 'dipshit' in front of my mother's helper and then learning her parents swear all the time too.

No, I am not proud of my potty mouth and I do work hard to keep it clean, but well....our dog really is a dipshit.  His indian name is 'pees on self' if that gives you any idea of how dipshitty he is.

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I took the babeola strawberry picking today. Didn't quite anticipate exaclty how muddy it would be. I've done the u-pick thing before and it was never this messy.

Further, the babeola was indiscriminate and grazed like a hungry goat eating unripe, rotten, mud covered, and half-eaten-by-other-animals berries. Apparently swapping spit with bubonic plague carrying mice and flu infected birds who eat worms is yummy.

By the time we were done, we were both covered in mud and the Babeola had eaten most of what I picked, plus everything else she could get her mouth on.

We have the same problem with the cherry trees in our front yard. She eats 'em, pit and all. Ripe and unripe. Worm filled and rotten. They all taste good.

I thought I was being a 'crunchy momma' taking the babeola out to enjoy nature. Showing her where food comes and all that, but what I've actually done is teach her that anything found outside is edible.

So you can understand why I get a little nervous when I see her with rocks in her hands.

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I've been thinking about doing some Montessori type activities. This is probably a bad impulse because I am probably the kind of mom who needs less structure and not more. Montessori is very structured in case you didn't know and we're already on a pretty strict schedule.

But I've only got one kid, which means I'm bored and trying to kill time. Moms of many I don't think have this dilemma, but since I can't produce siblings without $5k and a team of doctors putting their hands up my nethers...might as well do something.

Also, I need to make more of an effort to involve the babeola in household activities. I treated the strawberry stains on her clothes all by myself today and later realized I should've included her. Or next thing you know, she'll expect everything to be done for her by way of mommy magic.

From there, my mind leapt to Montessori.  Although Montessori requires some effort to put together and I'm pretty lazy, plus swamped with work (I shouldn't even be here blogging) so we'll see what actually happens.

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I have 5+ pounds so far doing low carb. Don't get excited. I've been here before. I will party at the 30 or 40 pound mark.

Low carb requires pristine adherence, one slip and *poof* all the weight comes back on. So I've got to keep up the good work.

Which must be why I'm making pasta salad and strawberry trifle for the pot luck tomorrow. (I hope you heard the sarcasm there.)

IRONY

I can't watch Sesame Street without snorting when they have stars from Sex and the City on the show. They manage to keep a straight face as if the obvious subtext hadn't occurred to them as...

Sarah Jessica Parker defines the word sigh. 

Kim Cattrall breathlessly coos about the word fabulous.

I keep waiting for them to tell the babeola how orgasms are just fabuolous, sigh.

As for the whole evil corporations conning us into eating poision thing, the Environmental Working Group is sponsoring a call campaign. And here's the original story as reported by the mainstream media.

And that's all I have time for. I am off to the doctor as my 'not asthma' is wildly out of control. Lucky me.

MOMMIES UNITE

We had a lovely BBQ last night. Soooo much fun and the babeola ended up being adorable despite channeling demons all day with a stubborn refusal to nap. Fortunately, we managed to tease an hour of sleep out of her so her head stopped rotating a la Linda Blair just in time for our first guests to arrive.

Anyway, I'm going to bungle the exact numbers because I forgot to write them down, but, according to the Today Show, who interviewed some blogger expert, there are double digit millions of moms online. On Facebook. Blogging. Tweeting. Moms are social media mavens.

E-Moms are a force to be reckoned with.

Piss us off and we will ruin your ad campaign-- remember the whole Motrin debacle? However, we have yet to pull together and demand fair wages, improved maternity AND paternity leave or anything else that materially benefits our lives and the futures of our children. I watched the Motrin ad hoopla and, while a lot of the mommy bloggers were whooping 'we are woman, here us roar,' I remained unimpressed. Because we hadn't actually achieved anything.

Sure mommies got the ad pulled, but so what? Did that really help women or families economically or socially? No. And this ineffective use of power is what causes me the most angst. For the first time in history, women can instantly connect and coalesce into powerful groups and what do we do? We decant that power, wasting it on superficial ad campaigns and then declare it a victory.

When are women going to get their shit together? Next time, can we not care about that ad and instead organize a boycott until corporate policies favor families and extend maternity/paternity leave benefits?

Riddle me this...What do you think would happen if mommy bloggers declared war on companies that don't adequately support breastfeeding moms? Or companies that make women work for 5 years before their maternity leaves are paid (which was my employer)? What if all double digit millions of us mommies, en masse, bought generic Advil until they met our demands? They would be shaking in their boots and, instead of hosting swag filled events for mommy bloggers, they would be making substantive changes to their corporate policies to keep us happy.

So... here's a chance to do something. A business lobby tried to recruit a pregnant woman to eat their chemical laden products and then agree to speak about how great it is to glow in the dark and give my baby diabetes! Obviously, women are up in arms over it and are blogging about it. It's worth reading, if not writing a few letters.

BABY BABEOLA

I need to do a babeola update before I forget all the adorable stuff she's done.

We've added 'want this' to the vocabulary which is warbled continuously until all demands are met. She also oinked like a pig for the first time (and has not done it since, but it was to. die. for. cuteness). She says horsie and tried to neigh. What's this. Go outside. Dance (which is more of a command and woe to anyone who disobeys).

I sat with her and read a book the other day asking 'What's this?' and she would answer 'a chair'  'a potty' 'a ball' etc... Soooooo smart.

Gosh, I know I'm forgetting something. Hmm. Maybe it will come to me. Oh, yes, a new good memory. The husband and I piled onto our couch to lay down. We didn't quite fit, but were too lazy to care. The babeola hauled herself up to join us with her lovey and we all cuddled for the longest time. It was nice. And the babeola was so stinking cute with they way she held her lovey between her feet--don't know where she got that from!

We're trying to learn about matching and I bought a 'game' based on the Goodnight Moon book. She understands the concept but doesn't visually discriminate very well yet. Also, the game kind of sucks.

She'll play forever outside in one spot so long as we allow the faucet to drip. Yesterday, we harvested cherries from our cherry tree and I foolishly gave her a bite. Next thing I knew, she'd stuffed one in her mouth and eaten it, pit and all. Yikes. My anal retentive safety consciousness about gave me a heart attack.

This morning she managed to put on her shoes all by herself. They were on the wrong feet and not fastened, but I was still impressed. If I take off her dipey to let her air out, she runs and sits on the potty so maybe we are making minor progress on the future potty training front????

Basically, she's pretty damn cute if I do say so myself.

We still have temper issues and head smacking problems here and there, but--knock on wood--it hasn't been quite as intense.I've also caught her doing what I call 'performance pieces' which are tantrums for mommy's benefit. Little manipulator! Sleep has kind of gone downhill with the Babeola waking up before 7am and not napping very well. But my energy has been up so it hasn't hurt as much as it usually does.

So, my next post, _I think_ will be a rant about fat and doctors so prepare yourselves! Deep breathing isn't cutting it.

WOW--SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES

ETA: I forgot! I'm on internet radio tonight. Yes, I was interviewed and no, it has nothing to do with my lame-o blog. I was a founding member of a writing group that has yielded two writers with multi-book deals and we were all interviewed to talk about writing and being geeks.  If you are a geek or ardent fantasy/sci fi reader, you might be interested in listening. I'll be on at 8pm EST on NNR radio. 

Have you heard about the mommy blogger who had her photos stolen and used for advertising in Europe? And the friend who just happened to be on vacation at the right time in the right place to see it, photograph it and let the mommy blogger know? Wow.

I'm going to have to rethink how I use photos online or definitely put a watermark on them. Yowza. Nothing is safe on the web. Nothing. And it doesn't really matter if the law is on your side since pursuing a lawsuit would cost more money than most people have, especially in this economy. I used to deal with international stuff and even a $250,000 loss wasn't enough for the corporate legal folks to consider a law suit.

Anyway, I stopped some of my meds and promptly felt awful enough that I decided it wasn't worth it. We're just going to have to switch insurance next year and pay through the nose so I can see my usual pulmonologist, who is not insane.

As I mentioned, if I have to, I'll order meds from overseas and just pay out of pocket to go back to my pulmonologist.

(Well, first I'll finish out this go round with Kaiser Permanente on the off chance that the allergist took their meds and has reconsidered what the voices tell them. Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky and their delusions will keep me on the same meds, which is concession enough to limp me through the rest of the year.)

I'm also tracking down the methacholine challenge that was positive and I'll keep a copy or possibly tattoo it on my chest just to be efficient. Plus I did some medical digging and probably wasn't off my medication long enough for it to leave my system (I missed some instructions from Kaiser and their instructions were not standard anyway--everyone else does it differently but Kaiser cuts corners), which would explain a false negative.

IT AIN'T EASY BEING GREEN

I'm still pushing for environmental consciousness. Not getting anywhere fast though.

I emailed Blogher and Gymboree regarding their Sustainability Policies (as in, did they have one and if not, why?). Never heard back from them. In case you were wondering, Swiffer is one of Blogher's sponsors and isn't exactly saving the environment--reusable microfiber dust cloths are a better option.

I did 'win' a writing contest that put an article I wrote about not watering lawns on the front page of a multi-national website. I won $50 as well. So that was nice, but not exactly earth shattering.

The problem is I am BUSY and don't have a lot of time for activism--tantrum management is a 100 hour a week job. I am tired out, people. And there was the month of sick that would not end and now I am sick again (Hubby brought home a cold from a weekend getaway with his equally hockey obsessed buddies).

But I continue to persevere however I can.

And that is all the time I have to blog, as I smell a certain odor in the air signaling it is time for a diaper change. Possibly an outfit change as well. Wish me luck.

TANTRUM INSIGHT AND A NOTE ON MEAL PLANNING

I did have one epiphany the other day... The babeola gets angry when she gets hurt, which is what my husband does. He bumps his elbow and next thing I know he's on the war path. Me, I get sad and want comfort when I get hurt.

So this explains at least one aspect of the tantrum difficulties we're having-- the babeola is creating a positive feedback loop by hurting herself during tantrums, which makes it hard to calm her down. I also watched her attack a dresser with her head after I accidentally pinched her finger in the drawer--the tantrum just escalated from there and I spent literally hours trying to stave off a nuclear meltdown.

We've had several lovely days with only three head smacking incidents, all of which were minor and easily redirected.  The babeola has just been so freaking cute lately with lots of talking, I'm almost convinced I can handle another baby (which is pretty huge as, to date, I've been so overwhelmed with the babeola, having another kid sounded about as much fun as being a hostage to terrorists).

We also had our first real peer interaction with another little bean about a week younger than the babeola. This bean is at the low end of the growth charts whereas the babeola left those behind at around 5 months. So it was a bit like watching her play with her own personal mini-me. They were very adorable together and it was the first time I was able to really compare and contrast the babeola with kids of her age group.

Which was interesting. I don't really know what to think or say other than the babeola was running developmental circles around the other toddler. It made me feel as if maybe I am doing right by the babeola, except I suspect I have absolutely nothing to do with it, it's all her.

Anyway, I just wanted to make a note of the meal planning I did this week, because it worked out so marvelously well and kept me out of the kitchen about 90% of the time. And who wouldn't want to memorialize what they did to make homemade meals without all the drudgery of cooking in a hot kitchen?

I had the husband grill a bunch of kielbasa and some marinated chicken. From that we reheated the kielbasa for breakfast (we are E. European, kielbasa is a food group) and then had dinner one day pairing it with locally sourced asparagus. The chicken I used a day later to make a salad with goat cheese, dried cherries, pecans and balsamic dressing. The lettuce was also locally grown, picked minutes before I bought it and we're still eating it almost a week later--it's still amazingly fresh. We also had lunch meat on hand to make quick sandwiches, which I kept low glycemic by eating between lettuce leaves instead of bread.

Then I threw some frozen chicken breasts (with bone) in the crock pot, topped with water and spices. When it was done, I deboned the chicken and made; chicken divan, green bean casserole with shredded chicken, and chicken salad for sandwiches. This will carry us through until Thursday-ish I think. Although it's not exactly low sodium, but I didn't say it was healthy meal planning!

Plus, my mom is visiting and making a turkey meatball chicken soup with the stock from the slow cooker. So we are awash in food with a minimum of cooking. I am pleased!