SH*T STORM, X-RAY YOGA & BEGGING A FAVOR

Where do I start? Lots of crazyee stuff over here.

1. We were all sick.

2.Potty training is going okay. Except the babeola refuses to poop. That has been a problem. I need to do a whole post about the horror that is potty training, but whenever I think about it, my brain spasms in dread. Not a fan of the potty over here. Or, for that matter, the entire age of 2. Two is killing me. I hate this phase. My daughter is a spitfire who headbutts. She hit my husband a few days ago and gave herself a shiner. She didn't even cry.

3. Today I slammed the van door, let go, and just before it rammed home, the babeola stuck her whole hand in the door. It actually latched shut with her hand inside. I can live without ever seeing that again.

Guess how many x-rays it took to make sure she had no fractures?

Hint: Hand x-rays SUCK. 

15 x-rays. 

Horrific. We had to tape her hands down and I had to lean, kneel, lunge and hold her in weird positions for almost an hour. I was sweating by the time we were done. I felt like I was doing that Hatha Power Yoga where they crank the temperature up to 100 F or something.


At one point, they wanted the babeola to flip them off for one xray and were demonstrating trying to get her to do it. Two x-ray techs, flipping my daughter the bird. Priceless. My only laugh of the day.

I was like ummm, she can't even do the V sign yet. I doubt she's going to flip you off on xray. 

Oh! And the worst part? I went to lift her into my lap and boinked her head on the xray machine. Not my day today.

Fortunately, she took it in stride and was very calm and as cooperative as she could be given her age and lack of fine motor skill. They kept trying to get her to do a karate chop and she just couldn't do it. She would try, which was hilariously cute, but no go. 


4.I have just had one problem after another on the internet.

My cease and desist was settled. I changed the website which was a huge pita.

I had a conflict with someone over something I sold via Amazon. That cost me money.
 
Dozens of sites have plagiarized dozens of my eHow articles and that is not even the worst part of it. eHow's plagiarism policy is so draconian and punitive that I am presumed guilty and punished accordingly. They won't notice that my articles predate all the other sites on their own, I have to email and tell them (I guess they can't read???). I've been sending cease and desist letters of my own. Meanwhile I've had articles put on hold so I am losing money while waiting for eHow to get their sh*t together.

 
Before that eHow deleted one of my articles. A perfectly good article. When I posted it on the forums no one could find anything wrong with it. Of course, eHow didn't email me to let me know about the deletion or bother to tell me why.  

I'm thinking of replacing eHow, but am reserving judgment until I see how this plagiarism mess is resolved. Of course another member is going through the same thing. She cleared one article only to have them flag another one. They went so far as to delete her entire account. 

Given that plagiarism is rampant on the internet, I'm trying to understand why eHow is so psycho about duplicate content. They shoot you first and ask questions later. I'm all for investigation and defending someone's copyright, but why not give writers 2 or 3 days to investigate and present a defense before arbitrarily shutting them down. Especially given that NO ONE is claiming plagiarism except eHow's faulty plagiarism software. I had no idea my content was plagiarized and it took me a few days to find the dozens upon dozens of sites that have stolen my content.


Anyway, it's been a rough couple of weeks so...if you shop on Amazon, would you happen to have it in your heart to use my affiliate link? It costs you nothing, but I get a tiny commission for people who use the link and it would be a big help right now. In honor of potty training, my affiliate link takes you to potty training dvds. You can browse as usual from there and whatever you purchase will result in a commission credited to my account.

Thanks.

Woot! Crap! Duh! Damn Lawyers!

1. Woot! Made $18 today in passive income. A new record. So cool. I was at a toddler music class today and screeching back at the babeola (real mature I know) as we butted heads over using the potty. All while $18 rolled into my account. This is what I like about passive income. It's slow. It's not a ton of money, yet enough to make a difference. And it works when you can't, which is a huge bonus for moms of young kids.

2.Oy. The potty wars have started. Currently we are having the 'been there, done that, why do I have to do it again?' battle. And I am losing. Crap.

3.Am I the only one who feels like there's a National Geographic nature guy narrating my life? As in...

"Most mothers protect their young's head, but this mother seems to have difficulty. She repeatedly hits her child's head on the van door when trying to put baby in the car seat. Quite often, these genes will be bred out of the species via the efficient application of Darwin's Law."

Or is it just me? I try so hard not to bang the babeola's noggin and yet I smack her around like a pinata more often than not. Poor kid. Tall kids are hazardous to their health.

4. Somehow my little niche blog P-arent J---uice has the same name as another website. I have received an official cease and desist letter from actual lawyers. Damn lawyers. Now I have to rename the site and I have no clue. I've been toying with Craft Tantrums, Parent Power, Parent's Busybox. I dunno. What do you think? I've got a week before they sue me. (For the record, I wish them luck. I've made like 63 cents so far and I drive all the traffic, I don't get any of their traffic at all. Mostly because they are marketing to teens and I am marketing younger kids.) Anyway, that was a pisser.

This Post Brought to You by SCREAMING

This will be a list of major highlights because...

1.I am so freakin' TIRED. It's my fault. I stay up too late and then can't sleep until sometime around 1am. I don't know WHY. I mean, I know why I stay up too late (fall tv premieres, work, helping the husband with his schoolwork because English is his second language, talking to my husband uninterrupted once the babeola is asleep is remarkably seductive etc...). What I don't know is why I can't seem to sleep. Have I screwed up my circadian rhythms that badly by going to bed at 11 or 11:30????

2.We took the babeola with us to get our flu shots so she could see us get stabbed. This did not help at all today when she got two shots at the peds. Sigh. Poor thing. Poor me. Poor world that has made it illegal to remove toddler vocal cords with butter knives because oh. my. Lord. the SCREAMING.

3. I am really concerned about swine flu. I've had pneumonia a few times--up to the point of being considered for hospitalization. Depending on my health insurance, I occasionally have asthma. Swine flu tends to give way to a really aggressive pneumonia so I am worried and, in my case, I feel, rightfully so.

Further, I tutor a student who has a sibling on more than one organ transplant list. Meaning germs are way bad for them. I really don't want to kill anyone with germ,s you know? Or interfere with someone getting a new liver or other vital organ. But there is no vaccine to be had. The student I tutor, mom is trying to see if the hospital wants to vaccinate me since I come into the home.

All I have to say is, I sure hope so since my other student has been alone in his classes, as in the ONLY student, for two weeks due to the sick. So I am picking up all sorts of bad ass germs and sharing them.

Oh, and for the record, the nurse at the ped's office who was in her 40s said this was the worst sick season she's seen in her entire career.

*blinks*

4.We are potty learning. The babeola is doing pretty well. She's figured out how to pee but can't hold it and will have accidents if we don't escort her to the potty on a regular basis. Of course now that the novelty has worn off, she's less interested in going potty. Even chocolate won't entice her. She's also holding her poo as a result. But we are using fewer diapers.

5.Cirque du Freak The Vampire's Assistant movie ROCKED. Awesome Halloween movie with an actual PLOT. Don't see that too often in a Halloween movie. Really good film. GO see it.

6. The babeola is borderline fat. Sigh. I am trying to ignore the ped. We eat a whole foods diet. No cereal. No bread. Little sugar. Lots of protein and fresh fruit and veggies (with some pasta). I let her see me exercise and invite her to do push ups and squats with me. We're going to start yoga together just as soon as I sit down and write down the routine from the video I found on Youtube. She runs around daily. Yet the babeola is built like an oak, mighty and tall. 39" 40 pounds. I need to ignore the hype. We have done everything right with her. The ped can suck it.

But it's hard to shut that voice up. Also, I am still fat. Still not rocking the weight loss over here. Too tired to low carb and, as it turns out, I have a hard time ignoring all the lucious fruit the babeola gets to eat. I do exercise though.

Okay that's all I have time for. The screaming has started. I must go stop it somehow.

SOME PICS

TWICE THE TEARS

The babeola is 2 today. *sob*

She had a bad night last night (unusual these days) and I brought her into bed with me and held her for hours, stroking her little head, inhaling her scent. She never sleeps with us even though I would like her too, but last night she slept in my arms and I couldn't help but think she was saying goodbye to this part of her life.

You could not pay me to do our first year over again, but I'm still sad to see my girl leaving her baby years behind.

Happy Birthday  little bean.

*sob*

Toddler vs. Cookie: You Call the Winner

So tell me. Did the babeola win or did the cookie?

40 Minute Vibrator Hunt

Toddler who loves cellphone + cellphone always on vibrate so it doesn't wake toddler = Lost Cellphone = Mommy on the floor, dialing her cell phone number repeatedly, straining to hear the vibration. 

Only took 40 minutes to find the thing.

Sheesh.