I really want to post pictures of the double rainbow, but, alas, they live on another computer and I'm ready to write a post on this one. So sit tight. Someday I will post rainbows. Maybe some unicorns too. Oh, and leprechauns.
The big news is I have a job interview on Friday. Initially, it was a part-time gig, but I guess they liked my resume enough to consider a full-time position with an upgraded job description. I don't know. I kind of want to work part-time, but who knows if I would make enough to cover child care.
And I have the tutoring gig going, which I really sold myself to them, saying I wanted to do this long term for income. In return, they've booked me solid with students (although one is currently missing, off trying to get pregnant according to her mother).So I would be backing out on them because I can't work nights and days.
At the same time, the money is decent. If the runaway shows up, I will make roughly $650 a month for 32 hours of work, which is not bad, but not enough to do much more than cover my bills and diapers. Plus taxes as I'm an independent contractor, so that makes my income more like $400 a month.
However, I feel, in this economy, that I should maximize my income if I can. I suspect I'll be unemployed sooner as opposed to later. Extra money now is good. Assuming the salary does more than cover child care.
Child care is always the sticking point isn't it?
The other problem is that I actually want to be a WOHM and a SAHM at the same time. (WOHM=work outside the home mom SAHM=stay at home mom.) By definition these two acronyms are mutually exclusive. I can be either or, but not both. I don't understand why I'm conflicted. I have experienced the pros and cons of both working and staying at home.
I like working. I don't enjoy the balance of life issues or the daycare germs, but I enjoy feeling productive. Plus, I like structure, it makes me efficient.
At home, I feel aimless and adrift. The days kind of blur together. The housework never seems to get done and I have no money, but I have lots of time with the babeola. Sometimes too much time!
Then there's the babeola. What does she need? We have the same problem. She needs her momma and other children, but not too much of either one.
Why is this balance so delicate, so hard to find? Why am I not getting it right?
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