Friday, March 27, 2009

MULTIPLE MURPHY'S LAWS

1. Children will only sleep in on days parents can't.

2. Goods purchased under the influence of sleep deprivation will suck a**.

To Wit the following Evidence:

The babeola is routinely up at 7am, except for today when she slept past 8. Meaning I slept past 8 and almost missed the dishwasher repairman.

I actually had to wake her sorry dupa up. That hasn't happened since...never.

Now, why can't she sleep like that on days when *I* don't have to be up?

And the dishwasher...I hate that thing. Our old one broke just as I returned to work (before I decided to stay home), still nursing and having to pump. Meaning, the dishwasher was as essential as air. Given that when I was home, I was stuck topless in a chair with the roto rooter, the husband selected and bought a new dishwasher.

We hadn't slept in something like 4 months so you could say our judgement was off.

We got a $700 LG model that had problems from day one. Yet did we ever call LG? Of course not! To our befuddled brains, we just needed to tweak the hoses. Or kill a chicken under a full moon. Something, anything but call the manufacturer and oh, I don't know, invoke the warranty? What kind of people do you think we are? Sane, responsible adults?

The mechanical problems were fluid. The thing would work for weeks and then refuse to do anything for a day. So we just kind of dealt with it and muddled through.  (Which also happens to be our parenting philosophy.)

But I hated it and still hate it. It has a tendency to not clean the dishes so well and just whirl food particles around. Where the chicken will end up no one knows! But definitely not down the drain. No. Can't have that! That would be, you know, actual dish cleaning.

Further, there is no way to turn off the dry cycle and conserve energy with the result that we are sucking more than our fair share of the earth's resources.

The repairman confirmed my suspicions by telling me the cheap dishwasher models do a better job of cleaning dishes. That and he advised we should always buy the extended warranty. Always.

Because, guess what? Our warranty has expired and it will cost us about $350 to repair the *$&%*R@(%$(*&*@ thing.

Meaning, I will be in the kitchen washing dishes by hand.

It's kind of ironic to remember that when we moved into our house, it had an original 1950s two ton steel dishwasher...that didn't work and was used as a breadbox.

Anyone need a $700 breadbox?

5 comments:

ladyfi said...

Love it! My kids always get up at about 5 am on the weekends because they don't need to get up for school or pre-school... Of course, on those days, they lie in until the last possible minute.

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh that sucks!

Hot Belly Mama said...

What! Killing chickens under a full moon always work! You must of been off by a day or two. lol.

Jenners said...

I wish my son "slept late" one day ... any day. He has never done that EVER. I consider it "late" if he gets up at 7:00 am or later. I don't think he's ever slept past 7:30 in his life.

And I would be LIVID with the dishwasher situation.

But this post was really well written and entertaining ... even though it kind of sucks for you.

Caitlin said...

So true! The only, only, only time that my 16 month old has slept past 6:30 was this past Monday- when I needed to get up/showered/clean house before the baby I watch on that day arrives. Seriously, I would have paid a million trillion dollars for him to sleep past 6:30 any other morning!
I feel ya.
PS I found you through Jenners.