Thursday, January 1, 2009

INTO THE CRUCIBLE

Life is full of crucible events. One of which is parenthood.

I usually avoid blogging New Year's resolutions as I find it to be a tired blog trope, but this year is different. I'm coming off my first full year as a parent. I quit my job and every day my daughter shows me who I am and who I want to strive to become. 2008 was a crucible year for me.

You can always recognize when you're in a crucible. It burns. It's uncomfortable. The highs are so high you become dizzy and the lows are so low even the sun seems dark. Change, even good change, can be catastrophic chaos. Intentions and outcomes don't always mesh, but sometimes the place you end up is pretty good even if it wasn't the original destination.

In 2008 I was the sleep-deprived parent of a high-needs infant and trying way too hard to please way too many people. In 2009 I will be the parent of a relatively easy going toddler and striving to create a better work-life balance. I am also more aware of the challenges the global community faces and the kind of future awaiting my daughter. Children are powerful motivators. Sometimes they inspire us to frantically crawl on our hands and knees in a mid-night cloaked room in search of a missing pacifier. Other times, they make us want to change the world.

Aside from the usual and sundry resolutions to lose weight, eat right, exercise etc..., I want to 'be the change' in 2009. Like motherhood, I'm not exactly sure how this resolution will manifest itself, but I do know one thing..

It's easier than finding that damn pacifier.

3 comments:

Jenners said...

Always better to have a vague and nebulous goal that can be easily adapted to suit your needs and journey than something specific that is so easy to fail at (like me losing 20 pounds and (this is the hard part) keeping it off). I don't think I'll do resolutions this year ... I know what needs to be done (as I do every year) I just need to do it. As long as I'm doing right by my son and husband, everything else is minor. I admire your high-level thinking and your writing style. Looking forward to more of your blog in 2009 and discovering how your motherhood journey continues. It is an amazing path to be on ... like nothing I've ever done or will do again, I'm sure.

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